Suspended

April 22, 2020 at 2:00 pm (Uncategorized)
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Full disclosure: I am NOT a planner. At all. I have been forced into this role because I’m a mom. If no one plans anything, nothing happens.

Plan to be happy today!

Okay, so everyone has SOME plans. Photo by Bich Tran on Pexels.com

So why is it so dang hard to NOT have any plans? To feel so – suspended?

Again, I should probably qualify that. I have plans for what I’m posting in my online classes and I have plans for what food I want us to eat up. I have plans for the things without which my entire family would crumble into a hungry pile of toys in the middle of the living room if there wasn’t a plan for it.

But it is certainly throwing me off to unexpectedly not have the schedule that we’d kept up since January. I was thinking I’d have one week of spring break, then a couple weeks later, the girls’ spring break. After those short breaks, however, we’d be right back to the busy life of a family of four. I was looking forward to those breaks, but thinking I would still be stressed enough afterwards that I would be counting the weeks to June 2nd.

I am the home-est of homebodies. My ideal would be at least a week’s vacation each month. Three weeks on and one week off is reasonable, right? I was excited that one of my two classes this semester was scheduled online. Sure, it’s a lot more prep work, but it’s prep work I can do sitting on my couch.

And yes, I am so thrilled to be able to spend time with my kids and husband, doing the ‘together’ things that we haven’t been able to with school and work going. Of course I’m knitting like crazy and might actually catch up on the projects that I’ve been wanting to finish since last summer.

Hooray Essential Workers!

Thank you to all of the essential workers who are making sure that society is safe and functioning! Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

And I certainly understand that I am lucky that I don’t have to make plans. I know many families that are keeping their schedule basically the same, with the difference that kids need to find a family member or close friend to stay with so the parents can still go to work. Essential workers don’t have the luxury of staying home. Or, society doesn’t have the luxury of letting essential workers stay home. (We are incredibly lucky to have those essential workers and we certainly need to appreciate them more than just saying ‘thank you’ on social media a hundred times a day. Like, appreciate them monetarily and give them benefits. /rant)

For the rest of us, though we’re suspended in mid-jump, not sure when we’ll land. Just having our expectations disrupted is disorienting; we were used to how our lives ran. Some among us celebrate changes and some can’t think about changing a routine without getting dizzy, but most of us are somewhere in between. We understand the principle of ‘life is change,’ but we have daily exercise routines and weekly swim lessons.

When we’re out of those routines, we’re likely going to feel lost or like we should be doing something. I know I’m not the only one who has felt guilty about staying sick at home because people are counting on me to be at work. This is like one long sick day (or trying-not-to-get-sick-day, I suppose) and we’re all feeling like people are relying on us to DO something, but we can’t.

What we CAN do is find ways to keep up from home. I’m still working, although from a distance. We’re working on schedule/routine surrounding the new model of school that the girls are doing, but we also want to make sure we still get outside when we can. We want to enjoy the sunshine not just from our couch next to the sliding glass door.

Pretty planner!

Not Kayla’s planner, but inspiring, anyway! Photo by Bich Tran on Pexels.com

If not having a schedule is giving you hives, then make a schedule (especially if you have a snazzy planner that you made like my sister-in-law)! If that is how you and your family function, then find activities that everyone can do and stick with it. It will certainly help everyone feel normal even if there isn’t any ‘normal’ to be had. Daily yoga should not be dropped, maybe just adjusted to fit the space between the TV and the coffee table. You can’t bring the kids to play on the playground, but most parks have lawn space that would be perfect for a game of tag or catch. It’s not silly to keep to a schedule through all of this if it helps keep your family happy and safe.

All this said, I’m two and a half weeks from the end of the school semester and SO ready for the real summer season to begin. Maybe then I can let go of the feeling that I should be doing something.

Stay safe, stay well, everyone!

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Situational

April 15, 2020 at 2:00 pm (Uncategorized)
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If you have been following my family at all, you’ve probably noticed that we’re all putting our energy back into our creativity and especially getting together our internet presence. We’re all appreciating the time home with our families, and we’re finding the energy to do what we love, too.

design desk display eyewear

Computers are one of the most frustrating tools we’ve invented. Photo by energepic.com on Pexels.com

As part of a conversation, we were having (over Facebook Messenger, no less) my mother was struggling to get her announcement onto her blog. I gave her a signal boost and she thanked me in a self-deprecating way saying, “I am not worthy.”

It struck that she was being unfair to herself. She was feeling inferior to me just because I could navigate Facebook better. This is a program that I’ve spent at least five times as many hours on as she has (and that’s a low-ball estimate). I’ve used multiple devices and different versions of apps for it and she’s mostly used the online interface. Add to that the fact that they just updated the layout again and it’s no wonder she was struggling to find the post she wanted to promote.

Why would she feel lesser for that difference in knowledge? I thought about myself and the things that I don’t feel I’m good at. Do I really blame myself for the knowledge I don’t have? What is it in our upbringing that makes us feel like we should automatically know everything about anything we want to do? Or makes us feel like we should know everything about things we’ve never wanted or needed to do in the past?

Would you blame your 4-year-old for not knowing how to make dinner? Would you blame a psychology professor for not being able to do brain surgery? Would you blame yourself for not knowing that a particular noise in your car means that you need to take it in to be repaired before the computer short-circuits?

Before you blame yourself for a lack of knowledge, ask yourself if you’ve needed to know it before and where you might have learned it. We’re all situational, but we’re too quick to blame ourselves for things we don’t know. Tell yourself, “I have something new to learn!” not, “Why can’t I already do this?” Try to make the conversation, “Who could I learn this from?” and not, “I could never learn how to do that.”

Which step have you reached today?

Motivation can be a big boost up those stairs

If the thought of learning new things intimidates you, I have a couple of suggestions. I have met many people who were nervous about learning new things, or whose last attempt at something didn’t go well. I have also met a lot of people who were confident in their ability to learn something. Of the two types of students, the ones that succeed more often are the ones who are worried. If you’re nervous, you’re more likely to pay attention and get things done on time and right the first time.

If you had a hard time learning something in the past, I suggest that you look at how you tried to learn it and see if there is a different way. Maybe you have trouble learning from a book and that online teacher basically assigned chapters and gave you quizzes for the whole semester. Maybe you have difficulty retaining things that you’ve only heard and the lecture was always on something different from the book. Maybe you just didn’t have the energy or brain space to take an advanced class in aerodynamics and you need to revisit the principles when you’ve got more time to spend on it.

What if instead of blaming ourselves for not being able to do the things we wanted to do, we realized that it’s something new to learn? More education, less self-indictment. Learning how to re-do things or do things a different way is part of it, too. Maybe you can’t do what you always did, but maybe you still can adjust the process. You might need a magnifying glass and a light to do the delicate crafting you used to do. Or maybe you can still do a larger version of that craft. Maybe you need new tools to do what you used to do in a slightly different way. Don’t be afraid of the learning curve, be excited that your skill vocabulary is expanding.

One of the ways that we can treat ourselves is to learn something new and exciting. If you’re not entirely sure you want to dive in, just go take a look at a YouTube video or a set of instructions and see how you feel about it then. If you need direction on where to look for such things, drop me a line in the comments and I’d be happy to help.

Your situation may vary!

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Just wait until…

August 6, 2018 at 10:00 am (Uncategorized)
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“..School starts…After Christmas…Graduation…The kids are a little bigger…I retire…Mom goes to a home…”

Essential-features-of-an-organization

Really, it doesn’t have to be this scary!

There are all kinds of reasons to put things off. There are a lot of good reasons to hold off on whatever is on your to-do list. This is what a bucket list is about — you have the list so that when it’s the right time you can jump at the chance and get it done.

But if you’re a procrastinator like I am, there are all kinds of reasons you shouldn’t put things off. I can pretty much always find something else to do instead of what I should be doing. If nothing else, there are ALWAYS dishes to clean and laundry loads to do.

So where is the middle-ground? If you can’t jump right now, but you still want to get it done, how do you make it work? How do you schedule so that it still happens?

Many people swear by The List. If you want it done, it has to go on The List. If it isn’t on The List, the likelihood of it getting done is next to nothing. There is no arguing the sanctity of The List, nor is it acceptable to mock, disparage, or ignore The List.

10-Tips-for-Organizing-Your-Life-Effectively

..But it’s not usually this easy, either.

There are a lot of organizational tactics to use, and which one works best for you is the one you should use. It might take some working or finding to figure out what is your best method. Maybe you really DO work best with a pile of post-it-notes arranged by priority on your desk top. Maybe everything – and I mean EVERYTHING – needs to go on the calendar on your phone. Maybe your refrigerator can keep track of your entire family’s schedule, homework assignments, shopping list, and bowel movements for you and you can remain blissfully organized and equally ignorant.

But if you don’t start the effort, you’ll never find out what works for you. I’m realizing this a little late in life as I try to work on the harder side of self-employment. I’m finding what will work for me and trying to form the habits that will allow me to be a good business owner and independent contractor and citizen in general. I’m trying to teach my kids to find their organization before they get to my age and realize they have to completely create a system or their entire work or home life will slide gracefully into chaos. An ounce of prevention or something like that.

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Color-coding is my favorite part!!

Unfortunately, I don’t have any good answers yet, but I do intend to keep working at them until I find them. I wouldn’t worry about this becoming a self-help “Organize your entire existence!” blog any time soon. But if I do find a few answers in my search, I’ll try to remember to share.

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New Year, Old Me

February 5, 2018 at 7:00 pm (Uncategorized)
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Another time of year that encourages reflection (Or maybe it’s just me?). New Year’s Resolutions are abundant and often forgotten or ignored as February nears. By the time we’re getting our tax papers, they’re not even given a thought.

The impetus to start over again, to try something new that we haven’t tried before is

new-years-resolutions
He looks just as confused as I feel! From http://redcrosspharmacy.com/new-year-resolutions/

encouraged in our society as a way to make our lives exciting or interesting again. It’s certainly not a new concept – The Babylonians were making New Year’s resolutions 4,000 years ago. The idea of New Year, New Start, New You is perpetuated in every corner of popular culture and especially in advertising and media.

 

I feel a little guilted into making resolutions every year. I am generally happy with who I am until the advertisements start with, “Are you tired of saggy, baggy eyes?” or “Lose those twenty pounds once and for all!” that are encouraging us to make resolutions to ‘make ourselves better’ — or at least buy their products in an attempt to make ourselves better.

But it’s hard not to see a new year full of possibilities and make ourselves a few promises. I’ll try not to yell at my kids so much this year. I want to feed my family better this year — I’ll try to cook at least a couple times a week. I’ll sit down an write at least some more. These promises made to ourselves or our families or the universe are resolutions to take those possibilities and make everything better in our immediate surroundings.

 

moreawesome

Don’t forget to be awesome!

For me, I seem to make the same resolution every year, because if I can continue to accomplish this one thing, it will hopefully make everything better in my life and therefore in my family’s life, my work life, etc. That one, ongoing resolution is this: to connect to myself and connect myself to all of the pieces of my life. I feel like if I can accomplish this on an ongoing basis, my work life, my home life, my external life, and my internal life will all find balance and work better together. There are some more specifics that crop up every now and then (a recommitment to yoga tends to come up often), but the overall goal is the same every year, every resolution, every time I remember that I need it. Not to find a new me, but to support and sustain the old me as best as I can.

 

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I can haz accomplishment

September 18, 2017 at 4:42 pm (Uncategorized)
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I am an English teacher. On forced sabbatical at the moment, perhaps, but I am an English teacher. Moreover, I’m the daughter, niece, and granddaughter of editors, and just about everyone in my family compulsively edits everything and everyone around them. We are so known for this that friends and even family members purposely misuse words just to bug us (FUNNER IS NOT A WORD, COREY!!!). Ahem.

Netspeak

Whole phrases condensed down to three characters.

As a result, most people would assume that I am not a fan of netspeak. The shortening of words or substitution of numbers for letters so they are easier for people to type (especially on phones) has invaded every part of our written society. I have actually had to correct netspeak out of research papers, though not much.

Many think it’s a sign of laziness. Many also believe that it will cause kids to grow up not understanding how to write or spell anything because they are too used to abbreviations or substitutions and don’t understand that netspeak is not an appropriate form of communication in many settings. It has been suggested that netspeak and text speak will ruin all of the hard work of literacy programs for this current generation.

I don’t agree with any of those nay-sayers. Not only did I grow up in the generation that wrote the first netspeak, but I also have been part of the generation that has made texting a crucial technology for survival. I was one of the first people I know who knew where “I can haz cheeseburger” came from.

Studies have shown exactly the opposite effect to what aforementioned nay-sayers think will happen. This upcoming generation is one of the most literate, though perhaps not the best read. They spend their lives looking at text, most of which has automatic spell checkers actively looking for spelling and grammatical errors. Many of my students have had better grammatical skills than I have, and I have personally noticed a drop in misspellings and grammatical errors in un-edited papers that I’ve graded.

I also have always been fascinated by language and the ways it changes or stays the same. I would often tell people that I was going to college to get an English degree so that I could make up words.

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The Munchkin compels you!

So netspeak is just another form of communication. One that has its place in the world. One that really doesn’t belong some places, but that can be a really fun tool for those who are interested in using it. One should always be prepared, though, and find out how BEST to use it before they start spouting ‘L33t Sp34k’ or typing with numbers. I am an English teacher, after all, and I always encourage learning proper communication.

Tx 4 da r34d!

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